Chattering from the tv wakes me up. I scan the room seeing the bright sun light coming in from the windows and realize im still on the couch. I push my hair out of my face. My phone beeps signaling me that I have a text. Its from Natalie, “where r u?” Shit! Its 8:30 and I was supposed to meet her and the girls down at the Coffee Tree thirty minutes ago. I text her back “on my way” as I rush around my bedroom for clothes, pulling out my go-to jeans and a form fitting t-shirt from my closet, push aside all of my sexy lacy lingerie specifically bought for my subs viewing, grabbing a comfortable bra and panty set , and dash to the bathroom. I put my clothes neatly folded on top of my counter and turn on the shower. Once ive finished probably one of the quickest showers ever known to man, I dress, pull my hair up even though its still pretty damp, apply minimal make up since I know have to be Gabby instead of seductress Gabriella, grab my keys and purse and shut the door to my condo behind me.
Walking the 3 blocks to the Coffee Tree during sidewalk rush hour in New York City is fucking ridiculous. What would usually take me maybe 10 minutes before 8am, will now take me almost 20 minutes. Damn you Jeremy for being such a douche last night to the point I fell asleep on my couch and forgot to set an alarm causing me to be late. Well at least now I didn’t have to go through the whole “end of contract and not renewing” speech with him. God he was annoying, but damn was he good in bed. Oh well, out with the old and in with the new.
After fighting my way through what felt like millions of people pushing and pulling in different directions, I make it though the front door of Coffee Tree, wave to my girls and walk up to the counter and order my large skim milk banana flavored latte. Ricky, the college aged barista, smiles as I approach the counter. “Good morning Gabby! Would you like your usual today?” Such a polite gentleman that Ricky is. I bet I could get him to suck my toes right here on top of this counter with the right look. Too bad he’s not my type.
“Yes, that would be great! Thanks.” Brushing the thought of making Ricky beg, I look over to my friends all sitting at our usual spot, the square retro looking green couch with matching chairs, “Sorry ladies, I fell asleep watching tv last night on the couch and forgot to set my alarm on my phone. Damn Lifetime movies anyways.”
“Wow, look whos watching chick flicks with love and all that mushy stuff in them!” Caroline says with a sarcastic tone.
“Actually, I caught the middle where the wife walked in on her sister screwing the brains out of her husband. Ya know, men doing what they are good for, putting their peckers where they don’t belong. Are you sure you really wanna go through with this whole ‘wedding’ thing? You don’t have to marry the man to still be with him. Oh thanks Ricky.” Directing myself back to him as he sits my steaming cup of heaven on the counter in front of me.
“Your welcome Gab, uh, my lunch break is at noon if you wanna go grab coffee, I mean uh, a burger or something.” Poor poor Ricky, the things I do to men during their lunch breaks would make you wanna go screaming back to your mommy.
“Sorry Ricky, I work over my lunch breaks most days. But thank you for this wonderful looking cup of joe!” I politely smile at him like hes a child im trying to soothe after hes fallen and scraped his knee and then turn walking to the not so comfortable retro chair beside the couch.
“Geeze Gabby, why did ya have to crush his hopes and dreams like that? A simple ‘maybe another day’ would have been nicer!” Natalie has been my best friend since we were sophomores in high school. She has seen me at my best and worst and with that, knows everything about me, well except for about Gabriella. Shes always trying to set me up with morons and douche bags that her husband hires. Sure they look like good guys and im sure they can work me over just fine, but lets face it, if you don’t have a name for yourself and a lot of money, I don’t wanna waste my time.
“Well for starters Nat, he isn’t my type and im pretty sure im old enough to be his big sister.”
“Oh puh-leaze Gabby, you have more excuses than one as to why no man is good enough for you!” in Natalie’s version of my voice,” Hes too old, hes too needy, he has too much facial hair, he has a uni-brow, he still lives with his mom. Dear Lord Gab, a lay is a lay is a lay. Im not asking you to marry anyone bu..”
“Your fucking right im not marring anyone! You guys are absolutely stupid for getting married. How sure are you that in 4 months when you finally give birth that Rob isn’t gonna look at you and think, ‘ ugh, what the hell did I marry? Shes fat from having my kid, she let herself go, I cant get laid, blah blah blah, my balls itch.’ than the next thing you know, BAM, hes sleeping with the mail lady!”
Clearly I had struck a nerve with Natalie because she just sighed and shook her head with out any sort of comeback. Sure I decided at a young age to never fall in love because of how my sperm donor treated my mother, and sure I believe that all men are inconsiderate pigs. That’s why I decide that they are best used as sex slaves for three month increments and taking care of women to the highest of standards. Maybe if more women chose to live like me, we wouldnt care so much about them being such dicks. Whats wrong with whipping, fucking and making them foot the bill of your cushy lifestyle? But of course my friends and family dont know about that side of me. I intend to keep that little piece of information private.
Caroline trying to lighten up the tense mood ive created, “ So even though your preggers, Nat, I am still wanting a full blown bachelorette party. Full of strippers, naughty straws and head gear, and lots of alcohol! Gabby do you think you could get back in contact with that winery you used to work at a few months back to see if we could get some of that red stuff for super cheap? Also that limo company you drove for a year ago? Do you think we could possibly get a stretch hummer to tote our drunk asses around in?”
Absolutely Caro I can do that I think. Those men are still on my call back list. My mom and friends think that I work for a temp agency and that its with only high end businesses that make lots of money resulting in all of the high end things decorating my luscious condo, which happens to overlook Central Park. The winery, that was Jace, such a gentleman. Always showering me with flowers and jewels, opening my doors and sharing his jacket on cold nights. And boy did he have magical fingers. The limo guy, that was Christopher. He inherited that business from his father when he passed, so he came from money. Not quite a gentleman, he was such a sarcastic bastard. I think that’s what I liked, his sass. I enjoyed spanking his luscious ass and riding his baby face. “Yep, sure. Ill call them this weekend some time. Which reminds me, I will most likely be transferring to another office soon. Im not sure where yet, but the shipping company was kinda boring so I asked for the transfer. Ill know more this weekend how much it may change.”
“Are you still coming to Annas birthday party Wednesday night?” Natalie asks thankfully in a better mood after my marriage comment. Shit, I forgot all about Annas party. Not that going to a 7 year olds birthday party is on the top of my favorite things list, unless there happens to be a gorgeous wealthy man attending by himself.
“Yeah ill be there work schedule pending. Speaking of which, where the hell is Emily?”
Caroline sipped her coffee slowly afraid to burn her lips and then sat it back on the coffee table, “Well apparently Anna left early from school sick yesterday and Emily decided to stay home with her. She sends her love.”
Just wonderful, a sick child at a birthday party around lots of other germ infested kids all slobbering on each other and than hanging on me shouting “Aunt Gabby, spin me around, Aunt Gabby, piggy back ride, Aunt Gabby Aunt Gabby.” I think I may need to reconsider this party thing and just show up when shes in bed to drop off her gift.
Looking at the time I realize that its almost 10 o’clock and I have an appointment at the salon to get my hair trimmed, hi-lited, and a mani/pedi. So with that I got up, took one last gulp of my liquid heaven, turned to say my good-byes to my friends and out the door I went. Now normally I would only have to walk a block and find a fabulous new car with a driver waiting for me supplied by my sub, but since im in between subs, I must either walk or hail a cab. Eh, it’s a beautiful day to walk 16 blocks, Ill walk.
No comments:
Post a Comment